I went to Udine this past Christmas. Udine isn’t home exactly, but it is close enough. It was nice to go and spend time with my family. The week I spent there was full of good food and relaxing, and I even managed to meet up with a friend of mine in Venice. I couldn’t have asked for more from a trip.

And then the holidays passed.

For the first time in my life, I wasn’t excited to be going back. What I was filled with was a feeling of dread. I had less than zero desire to come back to Budapest. It was at that point that I realized that something might be wrong.

I have been hinting in less than subtle ways that my job may not be that good. There might, in fact, be many things actually wrong with it. I have been working long hours in the first three months that I was there, and there does not seem to be any end in sight to the issues that come up. The job piles up responsibilities and tasks faster than they can be done.

Keep in mind, I like the job. But I do not like it enough for it to be my whole life. I am interested in doing other things with my life and my time. And I don’t think that it is possible with the job I have. Nor is the compensation high enough for the extra hours (all of which are unpaid) to amount to anything significant. It still isn’t enough money that I will ever be able to retire, or even enjoy my time here.

There are a lot of sacrifices begin made, and for right now at least, I don’t see what it is that is being gained here.