I have previously moaned about some coworker – in fact, I feel like I have done a lot of that. And I have also tried to do so cautiously, with a warning that if you think they are a moron, they likely think you are a moron too. And I also cautioned that often stupidity is really just something else in disguise.
For instance, my current coworker and flatmate isn’t stupid – she just comes across that way due to her narcissism and indifference to others.
I used to moan about someone else that they were “so narcissistic that it borders on solipsism”. That prize now goes to my coworker.
But here is the good news, she is soon to be my former coworker.
My organization has pretty much fallen apart. Part of it had to do with Covid, but I think the truth is that it had much more to do with internal financial problems. This company had loads of problems, and I think you could see it in who worked here. But that isn’t what this post is really about.
I want to remind all the people who are reading this just how awful my flatmate is. My flatmate is the person who claims to hate feelings and sentiments. She says we shouldn’t have them, and that the world would be a better place if we didn’t. She is, of course, full of shit, and she has plenty of feelings and you should bow under her feelings at every opportunity. But don’t you dare have any. Feelings, she will tell you, “are like jeans. Everyone has jeans, but not everyone brings them to work.”
So fast forward to the week where we are beginning to talk to people about our decision to shut down. We had to tell the volunteers, and it lead to an hour long tear filled zoom meeting with a long explanation of all that had happened and (many lies regarding to) our explanation as to why we were shutting down. The volunteers really believe in what we are doing, and are good people. My flatmate/coworker, on the other hand, is a fucking carpetbagger, and was infuriated by her their tears. After the meeting, she complained to me about it at some length “We are they sad – it’s not like they are losing their job!” she moaned to me, really only referring to herself. She then reiterated that bullshit about feelings being like jeans…
The fucking hypocrite.
You see, about a week before that her boyfriend had pissed her off. I have no idea what he did, and frankly I don’t care. Considering the maturity of this person, I doubt he did very much. But she told damn near everyone at work, because while we were on site damn near everyone came up to her to ask her how it was going and if she was going to be ok. Of course, this was an exception, she was allowed to have these feelings.
For fuck’s sake. The gravity of this fucking asshole’s ego pulls the sun around the god damned earth, and throws the stars into anarchy. She is that fucking narcissistic.
I don’t like being this way. But I am currently legitimately fucking irritated at this person. And when I get this way I tend to start seeing red. But I think this person is genuinely awful enough to deserve it. I doubt the sentiment will last though. I know these how I process these things, and I will get over it soon. This blog is part of my catharsis process, and I imagine the next edition of this particular adventure will resemble whatever the next step of the stage of grief is.
But in the mean time I find myself dislike every little thing. I had a chance once to speak to her about her religious beliefs and found that, despite her insisting on that she is a Roman Catholic, she has precisely zero knowledge about the religion itself. And while I tend to dislike the religious generally, at least most people actually know something about their religion. I can’t even call this lady a ‘cafeteria Christian’1 because she isn’t even ordering from the cafeteria – she has a vague idea where the cafeteria is and was once told that they serve food there.
I’ll close on one more anecdote. I was hesitant to share this one, as I have no desire to mention much about my work place. But here goes. Those of you playing the home game have already figured out where I work, and it should make sense to you if you have been paying attention.
There are some sensitive issues at my work place. Dress code is not strictly enforced, but should be. I work in the kind of place where you should be dressing conservatively, because you are working in other people’s homes, and with other people’s traditions. One day, some young Greek activists / radicals came into our workplace and many of them were dressed inappropriately. It was nothing that would scandalize any reader of this blog, but it was just inappropriate enough to be noticeable. I commented on it, and so did my flatmate / coworker. We both did not think it was right for those people to be dressed in that way in that place.
But fast forward to when my flatmate has broken up with her boyfriend. Because she is the thirstiest person in existence, she suddenly began dressing to work in a way where she was constantly showing off her lower back. And people at work where constantly pointing this out to her, and telling her to fix her shirt.
“Argh” she lamented, “don’t they get that I am dressed like this on purpose?”
“Ew,” I thought, “don’t you get that you are dressing in a way that they, the people who live here, consider inappropriate, and that this is their polite way of informing you not to dress that way here?”
Of course not. Dressing inappropriately is something only other people are capable of doing. Anything else would require reflection on my actions, and who has the brain power for that?
1 A ‘Cafeteria Christian’ is a Christian largely unaware of the nuances of their own religion, and are ones whose superficial understanding of the bible has led them to a belief system where they have picked the beliefs they like from the bible, while ignoring the more complicated and challenging thing, much the same way one goes to a cafeteria and chooses to eat everything that is unhealthy.