My job wastes a fuck ton of paper. This bothers me.
I was told that I need to print out this massive report (let’s call it 20-100 pages) every hour on the hour. The report is meant to be read by firefighters in case of a massive scale emergency, so they can figure out who potentially is where. So in some scheme of things this is important to do and something that I should be doing. But it bothers me.
But hey fuck these people. I print out two of these fucking things at best on slow nights. There are other nights where I really relish printing it, imagining that I am doing my little part in sinking this company by wasting their resources needlessly, by their own command no less.
You know what else bothers me? Every morning we get in stacks of newspapers to distribute to customers, and every night we throw the majority of them away. Because no one gives a shit about the news. And that more paper wasted.
Stop. I know what you are going to say. “But paper comes from tree farms, and isn’t really all that bad for the environment. In a respect, buying paper products results in more trees being planted!” (I once nominated ‘tree farms’ in conversation and this asshole replied skeptically with “Have you ever seen a tree farm?” YES, I FUCKING HAVE. My aunt in Friuli Venezia Giulia lives on a fucking tree farm. They fucking exist). Fab, but that is an oversimplification of how environmentalism works. Environmental health isn’t merely an algebraic equation with more or less trees on one side. All that paper has to be treated before it can be printed on, and that treatment has a cost, as does the printing itself and the shipping.
So I watch all this waste and I don’t really know what to do about it. That’s kind of a shitty feeling and I really wouoldn’t mind if it stopped.
But I like getting paychecks a whole lot more. And knowing that there is no one in the company that gives a shit, all I can do is keep silent and disobey where I can.
Is this what a guy pushing a button in a death camp feels like? Fuck!