So I got a job. The job is absolute shit, but I just needed something for a bit, otherwise I would have gone broke. I don’t know how long it will last.

The job is the overnight at a hotel. At 35 years old I am still working entry level jobs, which is something pretty depressing when I realize that I likely still will be in my 40s. I am being told repeatedly that this is a good opportunity.

Right.

Acclimatizing to the job was fairly hard. The first few nights gave me hallucinations (this isn’t much to worry about, as I have been prone to hallucinations my whole life), and even making it to the end of the shift was a struggle. By my forth night I finally worked a full through shift, and by the time I got off I was completely wrecked. I can’t even call it tired, as tired had hit me about three hours prior. I had been on about 4 hours sleep every day for the week thus far, and the tool had really hit. I was shaking, and I felt removed from reality. I was in control, but part of me wasn’t there. Of course, in the last hour of my shift I had dozens of guests to help, and my relief was late getting there.

I had been standing for 8 hours when I got off. I had been awake for about 22 hours. I was giddy, stumbling, and kind of incoherent as I left work. It was time to drive to a friends house and crash (my house, being a shit hole, wasn’t going to work).

It was at this point that I gave myself the worst advice possible.

“Ok dude, this is no different from driving drunk. You’ve done that a thousand times before. You got this.”

And then I made my way. Somehow I didn’t crash. There was gridlock on the mile stretch of highway I did, and the traffic was pretty fucking horrible, as it always is in Richmond.

There was a period of my life not too long ago where I started hitting bars pretty hard. I moved to DC to get away from it, but I found myself doing it again after a few months, although this time it was with the addition of a motorized vehicle. Even that probably wasn’t the first time I had driven drunk (I remember a handful of times back when I was living in Rome), but it was when I started doing it regularly. Don’t make any mistake: driving drunk is a skill set, and one that is under-appreciated in society. Knowing how to compensate for reduced judgment, cognitive skills, and motor skills. is something people act like you don’t need to know. And yet, it surely came in handy

And let’s face it, this is going to be a regular part of my life now.