Doubts, and the bait of China

This post is coming at you pretty close to live. Not because I am running out of material, but because it is on my mind a lot frequently.

Today is my day off, I am stuck at home with a cold. Part of the reason is because, despite the cold I had yesterday, I still went out in the 256ppms pollution and breathed in deeply. Today the pollution isn’t so bad, but my constricted lungs are keeping me here anyway. That, and the hot toddy’s I am making to work my way out of this.

When I am at home sick, I think about my life. Perhaps far too much. Well the terrifying realization I have had recently is that since coming here I am not doing too bad.  I have made a fairly good amount of money, enough so that for the first time in my life I am thinking about intelligent ways of spending said money. This is actually making me consider staying.

Well, just a little. The list of cons is pretty damn massive. Listed here, they are

  • The god damn pollution
  • The boring, ugly city I live in
  • The terrible food
  • Lack of a social life
  • I hate 90% of Chinese learners
  • I am overworked and underpaid for the industry
  • I feel like a love life is impossible here, partially because-
  • The woman here are disgusting
  • The people aren’t civilized

I could go on indefinitely, but that is the short list. So why am I thinking of staying? Well…

  • The job is easy
  • I am well paid
  • The cost of living is low
  • I am so thoroughly undistracted that I am making slow (albeit too slow) moves my dream job (self-employment)

None of those points are terribly minor. They make up a rather large bit of bait. At best, the top most is in truth rather soul crushing. In congress, however, they generate a bit of motivation to stay where I am, even though I know it is a collosal mistake. So I guess it isnt about the fact that I don’t want to stay here, but that I am suddenly unwilling to compromise on somethings. This is affecting my choices about where to go.

Here is what I would like in a next destination

  • I want to go somewhere where I am well paid
  • I want to some where I may have a better social life

But where the hell is that?

I am open to suggestions.

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